Reviewing Bond: Goldeneye

We’re officially through the first five randomly selected films of the series for a retrospective review. As with TWINE, Goldeneye hits all the nostalgia factors for me, having been introduced to the franchise through the cult classic N64 game based on the movie. Unlike TWINE, which still has some problems, Goldeneye might just be a near perfect Bond outing.

I’m having a lot of fun with this because it’s been over ten years since I last did a full series rewatch. Before I dive into my review, below are the next five on my randomly selected list of films for analysis. Remember that this is a subjective rating, not an objective one– all analysis and reviews are based on my personal preferences as a huge fan of the series.

Next up:
Diamonds Are Forever
The Living Daylights
License to Kill
Skyfall
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

For now, back to Goldeneye. As always, my deep dive will take the following into consideration:
Setting & Story
Gadgets & Vehicles
Action Sequences
Villains & Bond Girls
Wildcard!

Setting & Story

I have yet to get to a film in my reviews that truly makes its settings iconic. Several of the locations of the film have become so revered, that fans literally travel to them as tourists. One such example is the Arecebo Observatory in Puerto Rico, a stand-in for the missile launch satellite in Cuba. The pre-credits sequence in Russia at the Arcangel weapons facility, best remembered for Bond’s bungie jump from the dam, is another standout. The graveyard of Soviet statues in Saint Petersburg is a wonderful depiction of the fallout of the Cold War that is extremely relevant at this time. Every single setting makes maximal use of its environs to achieve total immersion; from the gun fight through the archives emptying out onto the streets of Saint Petersburg in a stollen tank to the winding hills above Monaco where we first meet Xenya Onatop (Famke Jansen) in her sparkling new Ferrari F355 GTS. I’d be hard pressed to give this portion of the film anything less than a perfect 10/10.

Now onto story. Bond is back in the first post-Cold War outing for everyone’s favorite super spy. While M (first appearance in the series for Dame Judy Dench) may remind him he is just another relic of the cold war, or a “misogynistic dinosaur,” she’s still not going to send him to his death on a whim. After the pre-credits sequence where James loses his partner, 006 (Sean Bean), at the Arcangel Weapons Facility at the hands of Ouramov (Gottfried John), we find our hero still tracking down Russians up to no good. Xenya has stollen a cutting edge helicopter, the Tiger, from a demonstration in Monaco. MI6 connects Xenya to a separatist faction, Janus, leading James to believe there is far more here than just mere theft. Before they can find out to what end, Xenya and now General Ouramov attack the Severnaya Control Center in Russia using an EMP blast from one of two goldeneye weapons to make off with the access to the second goldeneye in their fancy new helicopter, resistant to the effects of an EMP. Bond, Tanner and M watch a live satellite view of the facility, which quickly gets interrupted by the blast. MI6 intelligence was wrong, goldeneye exists, but what is not yet apparent to the good guys is that this is not the only weapon! As the smoke clears, we see there is a survivor: Natalia (Isabella Scorupco), a programmer at the facility. Bond is dispatched to Russia to track her down and find out who is behind this.

Ouramov reports to the defense minister Mishkin, claiming the attack was the result of a separatist group. Unconvinced, Mishkin notes that there are two survivors unaccounted for (Ouramov is only aware of one). Now Natalia is being tracked by two sides. Finding her way to Saint Petersburg, Natalia reaches out to her former colleague Boris (Alan Cumming). Unbeknownst to her, he is in on the plan and immediately turns her over to Xenya. Meanwhile, Bond finds himself stranded on the side of the road in a Soviet clunker with his CIA counterpart, Jack Wade. Wade takes him to the worst karaoke bar in Russia to meet series favorite and perennial Bond frenemy, Valentin Zukovsky in order to be set up with Janus. Bond convinces Zukovsky to play ball and finds himself in a steamy showdown with Xenya (who always likes a good squeeze). Taken to Janus amid the fallen statues of communist glory, we find out that Janus is in fact 006, Alec Trevelyan, the son of anti-Communist rebels belonging to the Liens Cossacks (betrayed by Britain at the end of WWII). Alec is out for revenge, and wants to destroy everything Bond and his country stand for.

Left to die once more, Bond and Natalia miraculously escape only to be taken into custody by Mishkin’s army. Held captive in the Archives, Natalia explains it is Ouramov who is behind the theft of goldeneye, and that there is more than one weapon. However, Ouramov intervenes, killing Mishkin, capturing Natalia, and setting up our thrilling tank chase through Saint Petersburg. After another miraculous escape from peril at the hands of his old friend, Bond and Natalia follow a lead to Cuba, where our final showdown occurs on the observatory satellite.

With memorable characters, some excellent humor, a strong and convincing plot with high stakes and some fantastic action, not a second of the films runtime is wasted. It’s a terrific story, and deserving of a 10/10 as well, giving this category a rare 10/10 overall.

Gadgets & Vehicles

From the DB5 to the stunning Ferrari F355 GTS, and even the introduction of the product placement with BMW, this film has some truly iconic vehicles. If you wish to count the stollen tank with the remnants of a statue on top, this films choice of vehicles and use of them is downright iconic as well.

Q has a terrific exchange with 007 at MI6, where some hilarious mistakes are made by subordinates (notably the telephone booth). The chemistry is very strong between Brosnan’s Bond and Llwellyn’s Q, making for some very memorable quips. Q provides Bond with a grappling hook belt, a standard issue watch with a laser and most iconically, the grenade pen (which is very memorably used in the finale courtesy of a certain fidgety slughead).

Again, I’d be hard-pressed to rate this category any less than a 10/10.

Action Sequences

From the moment Bond leaps from the Arcangel dam, we are provided nothing short of legendary action setpieces throughout this film. Unlike the largely second-unit feel of action in TWINE, we get properly focused attention on our hero throughout with some excellent stunt work and practical effects.

We get:
Bond jumping off a cliffside runway after a falling plane.
A thrilling showdown in the archives.
An iconic tank ride through incompetent Russian police.
A bullet train escape.
Fisticuffs 500 feet off the ground on a moving satelitte.

Those are just the major standouts in a film which also provides us some terrific spy games and memorable fights in between. The cleverness of Bond getting out of jam after jam to the familiar John Barry needle-drop is just so satisfying in this film. Again, I cannot rate it lower than a 10/10. This film is really cooking.

Villains & Bond Girls

Goldeneye introduces us to a whole cast of memorable bad guys with varying motives to support the separatist Janus group. Ouramov is a very convincing Soviet hold-over, purported to be Russia’s “next iron man,” according to M. However, just like everyone else in this period of Russian history, he’s just looking for a quick buck. He’s working for Janus himself, Alec Trevelyan, whose motives are both monetary gain and exacting revenge on Britain. Alec’s rivalry with Bond (“James, I was always better”) makes for a compelling and personal showdown amid the Arecebo Observatory. It’s ultra satisfying when, dangling from the facility, he asks James, “for England?” Bond coldly replies, “no, for me,” sending him plummeting to his death and upending the long running theme throughout the film that Bond is just another MI6 lapdog, “her majesty’s loyal terrier.” 10/10 iconic levels, including Xenya Onatop who I will cover under Bond Girls.

I can hardly think of a more memorable Bond Girl – Villain crossover than Xenya Onatop (Famke Jansen). Her chemistry with Brosnan is outstanding, leading to some excellent one-liners (“No, no, no… no more foreplay”). A sexual sadist, turned on by violence with a knack for literally strangling men with her sex appeal, she is a terrific and memorable character. Jansen absolutely steals the show amongst the other villains. Her demise in the jungle likewise delivers us one of the best Bond quips of the film, “she always did enjoy a good squeeze.”

Natalia, played by Polish-Swedish actress Isabella Scorupco is very believable in her role. Her expertise in programming provides an important aid to our plot (unlike TWINE’s Dr. Jones and her rather infathomable expertise). Natalia balances vulnerability with confidence well, ranging from her screams in Serveneya to confidently taking charge in the computer bay at the observatory. While not the best actress, she is convincing enough to leave an indelible mark on the series.

Overall, this category gets a near perfect 9/10, if only because I think some line delivery by Scorupco is a bit cringey (like on the beach in our third act).

Wildcard!

If you’re wondering why I haven’t mentioned Boris yet, it’s because I’ve devoted a whole category for him and other memorable ensemble cast. The real standout of Goldeneye is the iconic supporting cast Bond gets to interact with. We get introduced to Valentin in this film, as well as our CIA/Felix contemporary Jack Wade. Both characters provide some great comedic relief, allowing Bond to tee-up some clever quips, giving Brosnan more to work with than just plot advancement. No character in this film outside the main cast is quite as memorable as nerdy programmer and Janus henchman Boris. His playful chemistry with Natalia, and ultimate rivalry leads to some memorable exchanges but none more so than the final showdown in the observatory when he confidently shouts his trademark line, “I am invincible,” only to immediately be frozen in a liquid nitrogen explosion. That line was everywhere in the 90s, and to this day stands out as one of the greatest lines in the franchise.

Without a doubt 10/10 for this wildcard.

Conclusion

I get some Bond fans prefer their Bond to be more gritty, and serious (Craig fans). However, the Bond film franchise in my opinion is at its best when matching stellar action and story with memorable if not even somewhat ridiculous villains and supporting cast, allowing for that trademark Bond humor to come through. Goldeneye absolutely perfects this blend of ingredients, making it stand out in my subjective ranking as one of the very best, if not the best (we will see) Bond film of all time. A perfect score: 10/10.